Love of my Life

I Broke Up With The DH And I'm On Grindr

4:38 PM
It has been 2 months since we've broken off. To make matters worse, he was the one asking for the separation on our anniversary dinner. It hurts.

I asked him why. His excuse? He said that he has depression. It's affecting him the way he perceive love. Before that, there were lots of others. Not sure of what he wants, complaining about the way I look, our expectations don't match, frustrated of seeing no change, and many other excuses that I stopped counting anyway.

I love him. Yes, I still do. I did not delete his Facebook, Instagram, phone number, and photos, nor did I throw away the many gifts he gave me. There's too much. How do you throw it out? How do you get rid of a rose that has turned into a thorn in your life for 4 years?

He also mentioned the moment his feelings for me started to change 2 years ago. I've wasted 2 years of my time not knowing and in the dark, waiting for some kind of a change to our relationship. And it turned out to be far from my dreams. On the other hand, I acknowledge he has wasted this much time too. He's also hurt and feeling the same way as I do. I still couldn't comprehend why he choose not to tell me his feelings. Is it because there's someone else? I truly think there is, no matter how much he denies it. And I think I know who is it anyway.

I quit my job in KL and came back to my hometown. Partly was because my boss isn't paying me, but on the other hand, even before we broke up, there's something deep inside of me, telling me it's not going to last. I might as well pack up my bags and head home to heal.

And yes, I've got a lot of sexual healing. I have my one-afternoon-stands, my bisexual fuck buddy, my precious friend, my webcam sessions, my maybe-can-be-boyfriend friend, my bottoms, and my tops. Each of them are just so nice to talk to (minus the one-afternoon-stands; just finding me for a quick fuck) and some I know can be my wonderful friends to keep, as long as I'm here.

I used to frown upon sluts, but now I'm the slut. Karma get backs to you anyway. So be careful about what you say, lest it happens to you. Still, I'm happy being a slut. I'm appreciated for my personality, my looks, and I look sexy in all the eyes of these men. Not to say I have a low self-esteem, but it's a wonderful boost of ego. Much much better than when I'm with my boyfriend.

Guess I'm gonna be single for a while, till I'm fedup being blocked, or treated like a sex toy. But right now, I'm having sex everywhere. People's workplace, in my car, at the beach, at the carpark, everywhere! I like to try everything. But I'm not doing chem fun, not even poppers. Though one of the guys that I hook up with likes it so much.

Guess that's how it feels being sexually liberated. Oh and another thing? I like Malays. Nice cocks and the attitude is perfect for non-permanent relations. Fuck 2 or 3 times then move on the next one. Lovely.

P/S: Safe fun always. I found out the most reliable one is still Durex. The least comfortable one is Playsafe. Gets loose very easily.