Boys, Boys, Boys

3:19 PM
This isn't about that Lady Gaga song, though I do like some of her songs, especially Speechless. What else can I mean when you have that title above? Living in the capital of sin city isn't helping much to this angelic soul here who is tempted by the forbidden fruits appearing everywhere, including inside the monorail.

Anyway, they're suddenly appearing everywhere, like mushrooms after a rainstorm. I usually don't see my type on the streets but it's not the same now. What had happened?

And recounting the fact that I somehow got rubbed by a stranger inside a jam packed monorail. It's only on the arm, not the other part. Though not my type, he's cute, nice butt and smartly dressed for the office. My gaydar is not tingling, so I guess he's straight or either he's straight acting. Because besides me, there's also this well-dressed uncle who keeps such a close distance with him I keep thinking that they're going to kiss.

Then yesterday another one just passed by me and keep on smiling at me. What the...? I'm like a drunkard in the morning and this happened when I was dragging myself out to class. Do I look sexy when I'm a drunkard??

But even after all the attention I got from this passing strangers, nothing can compare to getting the attention from him. Which is like once in a blue moon. What have I done? Did I do anything wrong?

I really thought that those 3 months can really mean something but I think it's going to take longer than that. I'm busy, he's even busier. And admist all these business, I try to keep contact, tried to chat with him but it seems like he's avoiding me or something. Nowadays he doesn't even bother to reply my sms-es.

If you don't want me to bother you, say so. I'll stop. It's not healthy having such emotions and feeling like a stalker at all times. I tried giving you space, but the more I give, the colder you became. Haiz...

Being busy is not an excuse if you really want it to work. I bet you know this. I guess I'm not on the top of your list after all.

To: The Universe

11:29 PM
Sending out a message to the universe.

Gay boy here, in 20's, seeking for somebody who understands him for who he is.

Can cook great spaghetti, coleslaw, salads and ginger onion chicken.  Also can whip up the occasional cookies and butter cakes for festivities.

Knows how to do chores such as ironing, sweeping and mopping. Knows how to fix simple broken things around the house. Knows feng shui and decor.

Can paint a fresco when he has the time because he had done so for the kitchen in his house. Can and able to maintain a small garden and fountain, since his grandmother had taught him how to.

Can dress up well for events and important meetings. Clean shaven and goes through occasional expensive haircuts. Is going through a regime of exercises now and it shows.

May not give the best sex ever, but is willing to learn from books and porn.

Is a great listener and has a very logical thinking on solving problems. Has a more mature thinking than his age.

He has only one request, that is honesty and trust from the somebody out there who truly understands him.

Although he may be this good, but hell hath no fury like a scorned gay bitch. Hurt him and you'll go to hell.


Skinny Dipping

12:17 AM
I almost did it today. Almost.

Why do I say so? Well, it's like 7.20pm when I'm in the pool. There's no one around. (I wear my watch while swimming)

So the slut in me came out. I took off my speedo until my ankles. And I feel...

Free. Naked. Sexy. Horny. Wooo......

And the little brother starts to point north. OMG.

Then suddenly there's this couple came into the pool area! Thank God I'm at the deep end. Dive back in to the blackness and wear back my speedo.

One fantasy relieved. And may do so again. Kihihihihi....

Slut in me, slut in me.

Blame it on the raging hormones. (I'm not joking, there's actually a book with this title. Go to Eric's blog and check it out. It's here.)

'Till the other post arrives. :)

You'll Pay

11:09 PM
You got me hooked.

And then you said you "have 10 ex bfs and some experiments". 

You said you may not be able to give me what I seek.

Well, mister, you started it, you better continue. Because I don't give a damn.

Or else I'll end what you have started.

And it better be a happy ending.

You old fox. :-P

A wish

3:11 AM

I'm sending this out to the universe.

I wish that it will come at the right time, the right place and the right everything.

I will maintain a positive attitude in order for this to happen.

I will go with the flow, but if there's a chance to turn, I'll pick it up.

I'm doing this because I want an answer.

Because I'm tired of waiting for one, searching for one.

It's time to take it in my hands.

I need some love in my life.

And I do hope that you are there for me.


Hujan Di Tengah Hari

12:10 AM
The other day I met him. It was really a first time experience. I have never met anyone using such a method before. And I think I look stupid in his eyes. He kind of reminds me my very intelligent ex-uncle.

But what was I feeling after that? I don't know. I'm confused. It's like, "Is he for real?" "How can things be so smooth?" "What will this lead to?"

They say this kind of feeling only come once in your lifetime. I'm just recording it down.

And somehow the lyrics in this songs plays with the emotions in my heart.

Sean Ghazi's, Hujan Di Tengah Hari.

Ku sangka panas hingga ke petang...

Rupanya hujan... di tengah hari.