In this little gay internet corner of mine (and at 36 years old in the year 2026, I know whatever I write/wrote here doesn't belong to me, Google might be/is using my writings to feed Gemini's insatiable appetite for human nuances in order to fortify itself ), I have documented a huge part of my growth as a gay adolescent in a country that is horrid towards people like us. In the year 2026, the same persecution exists in eliminating social spaces that help us to find community and belonging, unlike way back in 2012 or 2011 where such spaces were thriving (at least I believe it did, when I fact-checked my memories with the writings on my blog). 

But I digress. That will be another topic for another post, and today I would like to direct my writings to my younger self, the Thomas in his twenties. There was a lot of I-wish-it-can-be-better and I-wish-I-wasn't-in-this-situation kind of thinking, but let me tell you baby, you have to be patient, because things do get better.

So to Thomas in his twenties, here's what I would say to you. There are a lot of people who do not care at all about your well-being. Be it physical health, mental health, or financial health. I know that you did care about them in a totally opposite way, because you were taught to be kind and gentle, no matter the situation. In the end, you will forgive them, but you won't forget what they did to you.

One thing you must always remember to do is to always forgive yourself first. You do not have to be so hard on yourself. Because at the end of the day, you are the one who will be sitting with these feelings. So you must forgive yourself first. 

The second thing that I need to tell you is that you will get what you have been seeking. Even though the universe have packaged it in a totally different way, but it will come. You will go to places you have never dreamt of, and having experiences that are out of this world. One thing you must remember; it will not happen all at once. Like a gas tank that fuels four gas burners, only two or three can be lighted at the same time for maximum efficiency. But, it will happen, one at a time.

And when it comes, remember to just soak in it. There is no need to indulge yourself with the chase. When you stop and smell the roses, the butterflies of life will come quietly and rest on your shoulders. So cherish these little moments when they arrive.

The third is to have faith. You're not a religious person per se, but you know that faith will bring you solace in times of need, in times of confusion, and in times of despair. So put this into your heart. And remember, karma always finds a way.

The fourth? You're a strong person. Looking back, I have no idea how you did so well, withstanding all the raging storms in life. Knowing how you were back then, you might have given up long ago. But you did not. 

So don't give up. Because if you do, I won't be here today. Thank you for being such an amazing, strong guy for me.

Also, let me give you some updates about your current life. You have an amazing boyfriend, a love/hate relationship with him, and an old cat that you love to take care of. Your career has stabilised through it all. You have food on the table and a roof over your head. A new roof is coming soon because the condo that you decided to buy in your 30s is now finally ready, just waiting for the keys to be handed over. 

Even though the noise about things that you have no control over is getting louder, you have now gained better control over your life, your finances, and your connections. 

So to the Thomas in the twenties, dry off those tears. Build yourself up, brick by brick, because I promise you, life does get better. Just hang in there for me.