It's A Phase

12:42 AM

So yes, I've been hooking up. It's fun when I'm in this phase and many things have happened (refer to my previous two posts), but after some time, I realised that it isn't the real me. It's only one part of me, a small part of who I am. I have nothing against hooking up; we all at some point in our lives are single and lonely and came to realise that it's okay to have a safe fling once or twice. 

When I say that this isn't me, I mean that I somehow arrive at a point where I want to rediscover myself. Rediscovering my real passions, my old hobbies, and being genuinely me. Honesty and being genuine is so hard to find these days, and after a few years in a relationship where I do things in order to please someone else rather than myself, I might as well please myself now. Like baking a whole roasted chicken, by following Jamie Oliver's recipe (with a bit tweaking here and there).

So I'm doing things right now that I feel is best for me. Which includes booking airplane tickets to visit ShangriLa in Yunnan, China. I've never been on an international flight before, and I'm funding myself for this trip of a lifetime (for now at least). Which feels absolutely amazing to be able to do so. 

And as a responsible person, I've decided to get myself tested, just to be sure. I have to do so because I'm that rare 1% that doesn't have any symptoms for gonorrhea (next post would be about this). And I have to thank my sensible brain for reminding me to have safe sex always; there's nothing to worry about in my test results.

I've rediscovered my love for dancing (so stereotypical lol and I've changed from this wallflower to a party animal), just bobbing and moving and swaying to the beat of the club. I went to Taboo and Tantric (the Singapore gay club and bar last weekend; two nights in a row!) and just being myself and have fun. After 4 years being cooped up in a long-term relationship, dancing until 4am in the morning is just thrilling, even though I am alone there. I'm there for the music! Superb selection, all the divas that we love just came blasting on air. You know, when you're gay and have friends that are too, somehow the genre of music that all of you like is similar (oh another idea of a post later).

I've also bought a wonderful Sacoor polo tee, the next best thing to buying a Ralph Lauren or Lacoste, IMHO. The cut and fit is more European, but the details to it are amazing. In the past, I've considered buying it for my ex. Now, I bought it for myself! Couldn't be happier! 

And I finally bought 2(x)ist briefs and a pair of Emporio Armani. And a modern jockstrap from Groovin'. I've just leveled up my underwear game. You want pics? Maybe. Just maybe. ;)

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