I'm not sure. I'm still trying to find out. The phone calls. The sms-es. It makes me feel alive.

And all I can do is pray.

I want to say "I love you" but my heart has been broken each time I tried giving it out. I'm a bit scared to give it out. But deep in my heart, I know that I have fallen, yet again.

The other day when I read the things you wrote, I couldn't sleep. Not because it's disturbing, it's because I feel that somehow, all the guys I've fallen in love with has one criteria.

男人不坏，女人不爱。 但是，男人不坏，男人也不会爱。

For those who I don't know what I'm talking about, it's this:

"Men who are not naughty, women will not be intrigued. But it is also the same for men."

Even one of the actors at my working place exudes that kind of aura, thanks to the character he's portraying. As an added bonus, he's handsome, cute, muscular. He sings quite well too!

And yes, I'm spell bounded. Mesmerized. Not only me, the girls too. But I know how to differentiate eye candy and potential husband, ok?

So, pada budak yang suka sangat kacau saya tentang saya dan dia, tolonglah. You all tahu yang butang ini ditekan akan mengeluarkan suara yang geli dan tidak boleh dicontrol oleh saya. HMMPH!

Anyway, I need to pray more. And more and more and more.

But I do hope this one has a happy ending.