My Non-Existent Gay Life

7:35 PM

Right now I feel like I'm more than attached to my current boyfriend. After three years of being in this relationship, it feels like I'm being married, and he's elevated to the status of "Dear Husband".

We haven't had any sexy times for close to a year, and the amount of sexy times I had can be counted with my five fingers. I'm very very close to a born-again virgin.

I haven't stepped inside a gay club for like half a decade. Not that I miss going there, it feels like I'm more mellowed and preferring the quaint quietness of villages and beaches.

I haven't been watching Ru Paul's Drag Race, or QAF, or Glee. It suddenly feels like I do not need to. It is fun if I do, but there are more exciting things I have at hand, like writing this post.

Truthfully, I haven't stepped inside a sauna or a bath house or a somewhat cruisy spot. There was this one time I was very near to a sauna, but the circumstances at hand just doesn't allow me to do so.

I'm out of touch with my bara mangas, I hardly read any new ones these days. Not that I don't like it anymore. Just not downloading new ones, as of yet.

I have not been downloading porn too. Really, I don't find myself going to Queerclick everyday. Heck, it's out of my bookmarked list. I haven't been opening my Fridae account, and I have not even downloaded Grindr or Jack'd or Growlr.

See how non-existent my gay life is? Am I devoid of life then?

I'm far from devoid of life. I see much more and experience even more with my closest friends, reconnected with old ones, and having great connections with my family.

About my relationship, well, my DH (Dear Husband) have his own set of rules and reasons as to why he does not want to make sex the main point of our relationship. It may be hard for you reading this to understand, but it somehow still works for us. Not that we do not yearn to have that kind of intimacy, maybe it just takes a backseat for a moment while we focus on other aspects of our realtionship. Maybe we are trying to reconnect back to the passions that we had, trying to understand each other even more, and accepting the change in ourselves.

And I hope this new year will bring even more good into our lives. :)

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