The One That Got Away, But Thank God He Did

10:28 PM

I think this is the closest, closest time that I had a fuck buddy. When I say "closest", I really mean "closest".

Dugged up from the closets within me, here's a story from my college days about this friend of mine.
"...I mentioned "tanned, funny, natural stand-up comedian". Well, we are friends and I did know that his sexual orientation is undetermined. He says he has not been in love before. But he hopes that his first partner will be a girl."

"Ok, fine, but instead, something else happened. We have this some kind of bromance going on, where we talked a wee bit dirty and fooling around. When I say fooling around, it's not like we're having sex. But just getting a wee bit closer than friends normally do. There was this time we went a bit too far and almost kissed, but we pulled back. I think he knows  that if we're ever going to go any further, maintain being friends after that will be hard for both of us. I know it too. Prior to this, he knows perfectly well that I am gay."

"But that night at the villa, when I was sleeping, I felt a hand. That hand was going over my chest and also behind my neck. I thought I was dreaming at first, but heck, I'm awake. And I know who it is. It's him, the tanned comedian sleeping at my side, feeling me up."

"If not for my conscience, I think I would have taken off my clothes and have wild savage sex there and then. But the bed was not only occupied by me, it was also occupied by TWO OF OUR FRIENDS, each sleeping at the left and the right side. We're in the center."

"So I kept my eyes closed and pretend to play along, as if I was asleep."

"He then hugged me. I played along and hug him back. All this while, I know he's not asleep. He's pretending to. When he is asleep, he WILL snore. And I didn't hear any. We're in this close embrace and suddenly, I felt something wet and warm on my right upper arm.  He's licking my upper arm. OMFG."

"It's quite a sensitive part and that was the first time somebody did that to me. My, it felt good. If not for the other two occupants, something else would have happened. But I didn't flinch."

"And then he adjusted from the embrace and kind of slept in 'the star gazer' style. After that, I hear snores."

"I couldn't sleep well that night. I waited for him to be deep in slumber before I adjusted. My hand was growing numb. Then, I looked at my watch. It was almost 7 in the morning. I woke up, made tea and freshen up myself for the journey back."

"I tried to bring up this topic on the way home. I said I had a weird dream last night, hands going all over me, feeling very weird. There's no response from him."

"Thinking back, was I being sexually molested? That night at the villa, I had a few rounds of beer, feeling light-headed, but I'm not drunk. He knows that. And neither do I have a hangover the next morning."

"Or did I went too far with the bromance? Was he exploring his sexuality, taking advantage of me? Or, the 1 million dollar question, has he fallen in love with me?"

And the answer was a "no" in the end. Thank God he got away. And I heard he has a girlfriend now, but how will it last or what kind of effect it has on him remains to be seen...

Are we still friends? Well, we're more like acquaintances. Why am I sharing this? Just to get it out of my closet, that's all. I'm sweeping all the cobwebs and remaining dirt inside.

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