A Hundred Not-So-Fabulous Things About Me

12:27 AM

This post is dedicated to Calvin, who hoped that I can write '100 Things About Me'. Well, here it is. And I'll try to stick to the Queen's English with proper grammar. :)

Not all here are facts, but also some are my unique experiences along this journey we called life. That's what made me to become who I am today.

This is an extremely long post. You are now going into uncharted territories of grammars and spellings. Please be advised that if you would only want to see pictures of G-Man, wait for the next post. :P

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1. I swear. A lot. I'm trying to use less colourful languages, because there is this time I used it in such an inappropriate time that my mum got angry with me for a week. But I only say it to people whom I'm more acquainted to and around my age group. So if you're meeting me the first time, the chances of me swearing is almost nil.

2. I'm still single, still technically a virgin and do not have any relationships yet. But that doesn't mean I don't have my share of 'explorations'. And nope, this is not me advertising myself, this is one of the facts at this moment of writing.

3. I'm an LOTR fan. I'm into the fantasy genre, no matter movies or novels. Sci-fi? Not so. I don't get Star Wars or Star Trek. But Tron is an exception.

4. The movie that freaked me out but got me captivated the most is 'Perfume: Story of A Murderer'. The second is 'Black Swan'. And do you know that Tchaikovsky is a closeted gay?

5. There was once when I was 11, I dreamed of getting bitten by a spider and turn into Spider-man. I thought when Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) got bitten and turned into a hunk overnight is marvelous. So where can I get that super serum like Captain America does? Saves time doing exercises and going to the gym, you know.

6. I love fashion. La mode c'est tout.

7. And after watching Spider-man, I got interested in reading comics. I have this sort of encyclopedia about X-Men at home and borrowed my ex-uncle's Spider-man comics to read, since I do not have any pocket money back then. Why my ex-uncle? That's another story to be told.

8. I am not a morning person. 9 to 6 jobs are not my type. I'm thinking of going freelance or just change another job scope which doesn't require me to wake up early in the morning.

9. I am a beach boy. Being born so near to the sea makes me so. I love holidays on an island, and the last time I went to an island is Redang. If you are reading this and haven't been there before, you should before global warming takes all the beauty away.

10. Among my siblings, I'm the shortest. But I'm the eldest. Ironic? Certainly.

11. The most near-to-death experience that I had was being in a burning house. I was sleeping at that time but I'm suddenly awake in the middle of the night when the fire happened. I will never do normally, but at that time, I did. So that's how I discovered my house is on fire. And that's how I lose my collection of shoes!

12. I have a best friend of 16 years. We know each other since kindergarten and the best part is, he's gay too. :)

13. My favourite brands are Dolce & Gabbana, Hermes, Louis Vuitton and Tom Ford, in terms of menswear. I adore David Gandy and almost every Dolce & Gabbana model out there. Though Tom Ford is balding, he's still sexy as ever.

14.  For women, I like Chanel, Celine and Dior. Oh, and Oscar de la Renta. He certainly knows how to dress a woman, no matter for a casual poolside party or a glamorous ball in the evening.

15. The very first fashion magazine that I read was Cosmopolitan. It belongs to my aunt and I still remember that Heidi Klum was on that cover wearing a pink dress by Michael Kors. I was 11 then.

16. GLAM is my favourite locally produced fashion magazine. I do hope I can work for BluInc someday, the publication house for GLAM. And GLAM is an acronym for Gaya Lebih Anggun Mewah.

17. My aunt once told me that I'm able to spell 'dinosaur' when I was 5. That's quite a big word for a small kid, eh?

18. I used to be very fat, 'overweight' is the proper word. I still keep a photograph of myself, taken when I was in Form 3. That's to remind me that appearances change over time and will not last forever. Also to show people for the fun of it.

19. I used to get all these sales people asking me, "Sir, would you like to sign up for our credit card?" The worst part of it; I was 13 when they started asking.

20. I can whip up a nice meal when I wanted to. That includes appetisers, main course and desserts.

21. I do not have any sisters. I have two younger brothers. So, all the household chores like mopping, sweeping, helping out in the kitchen, etc, etc, are done by me. That's why I know how to cook and bake.

22. I love my brothers, although they can be a pain in the ass at times.

23. If you read fact No.10, you'll know that I'm the shortest and the eldest among my brothers. Turns out I am also the slimmest. I wear my second brother's old pair of jeans. It used to be me not able to fit into his jeans, but now the tables are turned!

24. I only recently discovered Kuih Peneram, a wonderful sweet, fried, donut-like, Malay kuih. That's the best thing I discovered in the year of 2011.

25. I love Ramadhan bazaars. You can find things that are not usually seen in pasar malams, like the Nasi Kukus in my hometown. Also, the atmosphere is even more lively, since the bazaar at my hometown is next door to the city mosque, as well as to the public field. You can find families buying things from the bazaar and then breaking their fast at the field by having a picnic.

26. I love Thai food, especially Som Tam and Yum Lab Meau Nang (chicken feet salad). There are decent Thai restaurants at my hometown which I enjoy going.

27. I drink tomato sauce. Yes, I can finish off a whole bottle if I want to. IF.

28. As much as I love Thai food, I haven't been to Thailand before. The only foreign country I've been to is Singapore.

29. I haven't ride a plane yet, up until this post was written. I plan to have a plane ride in my near future. Other kind of transportation modes that I haven't ride before are ocean liners and sports cars.

30. My father is a mechanic with a good reputation. He fixed the sultan's limo once and I get to sit in it. I don't think there are many out there who has this kind of experience, do you?

31. Talking about my father, he's a hunkle. The word is derived from 'hunk' and 'uncle'. Well, being a mechanic means he needs to exercise his muscles as that is his job scope. He's very suave, has hands of steel but a gentle heart. I remembered when I did some serious coming out to my mum one day, she misinterpreted as if I'm blaming her for being born this way. Guess what my hunkle said?

He never sms me before in my entire life, but on that day, he wrote, "Son, please do not blame your mother. No matter who you will be, we'll still love you very much. You are our son."

God, I'm so touched to be blessed with this hunkle as my father. :)

32. But one thing my father is bad at is his habit of smoking. I may inherit his jawline but I don't inherit his habit. So don't ask me for a lighter.

33. I drink. My favourite beer is Kilkenny, second favourite is Heineken. My favourite cocktail? A mojito.

34. My grandmother sewed me a skirt when I was 5, because I always mess up my bed sheets and blankets pretending to be Cinderella. Now, I'm waiting for Prince Charming. LOL

35. I listen to classical music, opera, jazz and mainstream songs. My favourite artists are Adele and Lady Gaga. My favourite composer is Tchaikovsky. My favourite opera is Carmen. Favourite opera aria is  Nessun Dorma from Pucini's Turandot. Jazz musician? Kenny G.

36. Also, I love musicals. Cats, Phantom of the Opera and The Sound of Music are my favourites. I would love to watch Les Miserables, after reading the novel not long ago.

37. I own around 15 pairs of underwear and 3 pairs of swimwear. I used to have g-strings but the elastic band is not good anymore. Time to find some new ones. Would love to have a pair of jockstrap though. Oh, and my favourite underwear are from Diesel.

38. I'm turned on when I get my ear licked. How did I found out that part? When my pet dog jumped up while I was sitting and just slobber all over my ears.

39. I love Siberian Huskies! But I don't think I can own one anytime soon. Maybe an American Bully or a Beagle, since I'll be living in apartments or condominiums.

40. I only learned how to blow bubble gums and snap my fingers recently. And I cannot roll my tongue. Or sit in that lotus position. I tried, but I'm just not flexible!

41. I hurt my right wrist when I was 11 and I'm right-handed. All my exercise books written during that time is a Picasso masterpiece. You'll never know what I'm writing.

42. I hate cockroaches, more so when they're flying. I'll take a broom and swish all over. I know they're perfect creations of God, but still.

43. When I do not have enough sleep, don't make me angry. I'll fuck you upside down if I have to. I say it and I mean it.

44. My favourite novel is 'The Time Traveller's Wife' by Audrey Niffeneger, almost all novels written by Dan Brown, and 'Interview with The Vampire' and other Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice. I read 'Confessions of A Shopaholic' once, but that damn thing is really too... feminine. Even this slut who wears glitter could not accept it.

45. I tried to go into Fashion Design, but it was not accepted by my grandparents. I end up doing Graphic Design instead. I really do hope I can go into the world of fashion and just do what I love.

46. I fell into the drain while I was 6 (or 7?) and my, it was horrid. It's the drain by the wet market, stinking and full of rotten stuff. I cried all the way back home. And that was the only time I remembered my father cradling me in his arms.

47. My mother to me is like 'The Lion King' to me when I was small. It means she's ferocious. But now, our relationship is way better.

48. I used to have these evil plans that my brother and me created to annoy our nosy neighbours. Thinking back, it is really silly. I remembered one of the plans was to have this bucket of urine at the top of the door, mixed with all kinds of stuff inside our house. So remember, you really do not want to piss me off.

49. I am a generally nice guy and will not get angry easily. But you do not want to see me get angry. I'm having this trait from my father.

50. I inherited my fashionista ways from my mum. :)

51. I have this peculiar habit of eating noodles. When I use chopsticks or fork, I'll roll them up into a small ball before putting it in my mouth. Guess where I learn this from? The Garfield comic strip.

52. My favourite food is sushi. Second favourite is spaghetti with tomato-based sauces or chicken bolognese. I don't like alfredo sauces. It can be a bit weird sometimes. And yes, I can make a good spaghetti. The Thai food that I mentioned just now is also placed at second, a tie.

53. I'm a Buddhist, I pray to the Bodhisattva Guanyin. Therefore, I don't take beef.

54. I ate a lot of durians when I was little. And then some period from my end of primary school to the end of high school, I don't. Now I'm eating durians again.

55. Other places that I visited the most in Malaysia are Melaka and Ipoh. Ipoh is because I took my foundations at Kampar. Melaka? Don't ask me why. I've been there recently. Yet again.

56. The best coffee in the whole of Malaysia is only in Ipoh. Not those Old Town ones or those instant Ipoh coffee mix. If you want to drink it, go to 'Sun Yuan Foong', 'Sin Yoon Loong' or 'Nam Heong'. I rank it in a higher place than Starbucks, although I have drunk Starbucks several time before.

57. The happiest days of my life was when I was in Kampar for a whole year when I took my foundation there. That time it's still quite a new place for students, not over-crowded like these days.

58. I have three exercise books filled with Garfield comic strips from The Star. Thanks to my aunt who likes to collect them too.

59. When I was 5, I had something what we call in Cantonese 'Wu Guai Mei'. It's the tiny bit of hair that grows longer at the back of your head.

60. Favourite dessert? Anything that contains alcohol. Be it Kahlua laced ice-cream, Bailey's with coffee, Tiramisu laced with rum, or a genuine Blackforest cake. Simply awesome.

61. I absolutely adore bara manga. Ever since I discovered that I am gay, I'm hooked on it. My favourite artist is Jiraiya. Gengoroh Tagame can be a bit brutal. But I like both, nonetheless.

62. And that's where my appreciation for G-Man and bears comes from! I'll be doing a post on this soon. There's just so much that can be talked about.

63. My body parts that I love the most are my back, shoulders and legs. The part that I hate the most is my midriff. That bulge just wouldn't go away.

64. I used to use hair gel, but now I use hair wax from L'oreal. Though expensive, it's much easier to wash off than those from Gatsby.

65. I love collecting watches. My collection is only a small one, but I love them nonetheless. I used to collect stamps when I was a kid.

66. My favourite hangout place back in my hometown is... where else? The beach.  It has KFC, Mc Donald's and my favourite chicken chop. Together with the famous iced dessert stall in my hometown, it's a wonderful place to have your dinner. A stroll at the beach after that is indeed  heavenly.

67. I think the clues above are enough for you to to do a Google search and pin point that place itself. If you are still scratching your head, that place is Teluk Cempedak and my hometown is Kuantan. Yes, I'm from Pahang.

68. I love peanut butter. When I was small, I used to scoop one big tablespoon and lick it like candy. Now I rarely eat it that way. But I love to have it spread on apple slices! Yum!

69. If you had read the fact about me loving Thai food, you would have known I take spicy stuff. How spicy can I handle? Well, you know those white bird's eye chili in the market? I love that stuff.  

70. My fab hairstyle is cut by those Indian barbers. I tried going to saloons before, but there is just no chemistry between me and the stylist! I couldn't get the hair that I want if I go to a saloon.

71. If I have the money, the first bag that I''ll buy from those luxury brands is an Hermes Jypsiere in their signature Hermes Orange. Nothing spells 'Happiness' like an orange box with an 'H' on it.

72. If I am really going to be married, I want 'Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You'  by George Benson as my wedding march.

73. I am now wearing two rings on my right 4th finger. I will give one to the one who has my heart. I ALMOST gave it away last time. These days, I'm cautious.

74. I will never ask a man to help me wear my necklace unless he is the one I truly love. Only one man in my life ever did this. And he's not my father.

75. I was MOLESTED by a straight guy once. That's another story to tell. But I just don't like these kind of situation where they want to test their borderlines of sexuality by using me. Hello, I'm NOT a scale or measuring system. Blardy fool.

76. No matter how I tried, I just couldn't mix with any of my straight guy friends. Football, girls and online games are things that I do not know what to talk about.

77. I have this very peculiar habit where I like to sing to the recorder on my computer to record my singing. Then I play it back again to see how it sounds like. If it is not what I like to hear, I delete it. If it's nice to my ears, I'll keep it.

78. The reason why I have that habit above is because I used to sing in my school choir during my high school. That's a simple way on improving my singing.

79. I am a baritone by voice type. But I like to sing songs from musicals and songs from the Great American Songbook, besides the usual choir repertoire.

80. I am turned off by snobbish behaviours and rich people who think that money is bigger than anything else.

81. I am also turned on by butts that defy gravity, besides the ear licking thing.

82. I am a bottom. Nuff' said! But will I be versatile? That remains to be seen.

83. If I am ever going to have a wedding, I shall be dressed in a crisp white shirt, silver vest, silver tie, crisp white pants and a white orchids bouquet.  A tanzanite ring or even better, a sapphire ring as my wedding ring.

84. If you think the above is nonsense, a man can dream, right? Talking about dreams, I sometimes have sleep paralysis. It is when you think you are awake but you could not wake up, as if something is presing down on you. Go Google it for more info.

85. When I was a kid, I used to be so fascinated with archaeology and Egyptian mummies that I want to be an archaeologist. When my Sejarah sucked to a level that I even couldn't accept it, that dream just disappeared.

86. My favourite channels on Astro are Discovery channel, National Geographic and Discovery Science. The show that I love most is Mythbusters!

87. My favourite comedy series is The Nanny! Oh Mr. Sheffield~~

88. The series that I would love to watch is Queer As Folk. I just know that the DVD are somewhere around SS2. They just disappear and then they resurface again at times.

89. My favourite fragrance is  Davidoff Cool Water. It's manly and fresh at the same time. The second is Hugo by Hugo Boss. Third is Polo Sport by Ralph Lauren. What am I using now? Chanel Allure Sport pour Homme. That's a gift from my aunt.

90. My long-term dream is to open an art cafe, like the one I have in my hometown.

91. I used to hate to eat bitter gourd but not anymore.

92. I drink wine. Reds. Not whites.

93. I have a phallic shaped key chain as a gift from my friend who went to Bali.

94. My gaydar tunes itself to higher levels when there is a really strong presence. I don't have to look around, I just know that there's a gay man somewhere.

95. I love TGSS. That's True Singapore Ghost Stories, a book series. I read it when I was in primary school and I still read it until now.

96. I sang 'Time To Say Goodbye' at my uni's convocation before.

97. My favourite quote, "Fashion comes and goes, but style is forever." By Yves Saint Laurent.

98. I used to imagine that the hills and forests around my hometown is part of the Lord of The Rings scenery. Would really love to visit New Zealand one day just to see all these scenery.

99. I can be quiet when you first met me, but I'll be out and loud once you know me well.

100. The last thing you want to know about me? I am human, just like you all do out there! :)

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Tata for now!

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2 comments

  1. Wow! Nice post. Hehehe...

    Fact No.1: You swear a lot? Wow! I always have this impression that you're a nice, decent, well-mannered guy. Hahaha!!!

    No. 4: Yes, I know about Tchaikovsky... I love his Piano Concerto, Violin Concerto, 'Pathetique' Symphony No.6.

    No.10: Well, it's strange that most elder son/daughter is shorter than the younger siblings.

    No.11: OMG! What's the cause of the fire? Did your family get to save the house from burning? What happened in the end? Luckily no one was hurt.

    No.12: Awww, man! You're so lucky to have a close best friend for so many years and what's so great about it is that he's gay too. Wow! I wish I have such friend in my life.

    No.19: What? Hahaha!!! You said you're short and at the age of 13, the credit card sales people thought you're an adult? They surely need to check their eyes.

    No.27: OMG!!! WHAT? You drink tomato sauce? Eeeewww... hahaha!!!

    No.31: Awww.... that's so touching that you have such loving and caring parents.

    No.35: Looks like we have common in music taste except that I don't really like Lady Gaga. Hehehe...

    No.38: Ooo... make sure your future bf reads this point. Hahaha!!!

    No.43: Wah! Fuck upside down? But you said you're virgin wor? Hahaha!!! So are you saying that you're 'top'? Hehehe...

    No.52: Looks like not only music, even food also we have in common. Hehehe... I love sushi, sashimi, pasta, pizzas.

    No.53: Me too.

    No.70: High-five!

    No.77: When can we listen to your singing? Hehehe...

    No.80: Me too.

    No.96: I love that song too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. To Calvin,

    No. 11: It's not my house at Kuantan, but the place I'm renting in PJ. That's another story to tell.

    No. 43: It's only a figure of speech. I'm still a bottom. Will I be a top? That is remain to be seen.

    No. 77: Why not have a live session? I like going out to have karaoke sessions. Hahaha

    ReplyDelete