And I barely know where should I start.

My grand aunt passed away and this is my first time sending someone till the end, going through all the last rites. I didn't even did that when my grandma and grandpa on my mother's side passed away.

I went to Jennifer Lopez's concert. Amazing performer and entertainer, certainly not a singer. And yes, I can see why her booty is insured for that amount of money.

I went to USS, or Universal Studios Singapore. Had lots of fun with my swan prince.

I found out that the KFC in Singapore is not worth eating. Hot and Spicy is neither hot or spicy, just a crispier version of the Original.

I still haven't find a job despite all the applications I've sent and the interviews that I've attended. It's hard finding a job here.

After coming down to Singapore, I appreciate and love my country even more. People here are so sad and so scared it makes me think about the saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side." We may not have money but we are indeed happier than them in a way.  

That's it for now. Until next time till I write again.

It's been some time since I posted anything, with all the work, emotional stress, moving back to my hometown, and basically, being busy about life itself.

Yup, so I made the decision to go to the island down south, that is Singapore, after many months of deliberation.

Thank you so much Tuls for your comment. I am touched and I appreciate the fact that you took time to write it. :) I took the road less taken, for me that is, but not the road not taken.

In case you are wondering why this decision is so important, it is because if I am to go there, the chances of working in the same career path that I've been studying for so long is almost nil. And I am now a Bachelor in Graphic Design and Multimedia.

The other reason why I choose to go there is because I really, really want to have my own house before I reach 30. If you are suggesting the new gahmen scheme for people who haven't own a house yet, let me just say, I am aware of how my country's financial state is.

With the kind of pay that I'm getting here, it's not helping at all. Sure, I can have a main job and do part-time jobs on the side, but I want to have holidays and other little luxuries of life too. Then there are going to be bills to pay. I'm trying to work smart here, to support my dream and to achieve the kind of lifestyle that I would like to have.

I do hope I can achieve my dream. And then get married, maybe.

I'll be leaving in a week's time. Wish me luck.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry, I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

...I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.

I think most of you have heard of this poem, but if you have not, then this excerpt is taken from the poem named "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. It's exactly describing what I'm going through right now.

Should I, or should I not? The less traveled by? Which road is the less traveled by? I see both are trodden with enough soil and dirt, not a single petal of rose in sight.

Sometimes both seems equally bright, but sometimes both seems equally dim.

This may be the biggest decision in my life for the time being. My career is at stake! But once chosen, there's no turning back.

I can only pray.

Or at least some of us were some kind of a eunuch in our past life. It is very amazing to know that the hearts of gay men are more or less the same, having a more or less the same behaviour, and a more or less the same interests. For an example, having a soft spot for beauty, talking with hand gestures, and being a bit bitchy at times. I do know that we are all different in our own ways, but it's some of these traits that makes our gaydar go "ping".

So if we are to ask science to explain why this is so, certainly the answer is still not here yet. But if you do believe in reincarnation and karma, well, somehow it does make sense at times.

If you do read back the history of how eunuchs came to be, certainly there are more eunuchs than what history recorded. Even for the Ming dynasty in China, there were about 70,000 eunuchs serving the imperial family at one time. The Koreans back then did have eunuchs too, as well as the Ottoman empire. To read more about eunuchs, click here.

Of course this is only a passing thought with no concrete evidence. On the other hand, when boys are castrated when they are young, of course the body loses its source to produce testosterone. Then similar features are seen in all of them, like having a higher pitched voice and smoother facial features.

I know not all gay men have a high pitched voice and smooth facial features, but having them add points to the gaydar. So that's the reason why I suddenly had this passing thought.

But about castration, I personally think that even though I am not physically castrated, but my mind already is. Some time back when I saw this documentary from Nat Geo, it did said homosexuality is caused by one of the genes is switched off, causing changes to the brain and therefore affects the gender that we are attracted to.

Isn't this some form of castration, by removing my supposedly sexual attraction and gender role that I should have?  I do admit that I can be very in touch with my feminine side at times.

Just a passing thought, just a passing thought. You're most welcomed if you do not want to comment at all, because this is indeed a very, very weird thought that I am having now. I'm just pouring it out for the sake of retaining my sanity. 

Though summer has ended, here are some bears to remind you of blue skies, golden sands, and hot dudes.

Today, H&M, the international fast fashion brand, opens up in Lot 10. I did the craziest thing in my shopping adventures, which is to actually queue up for something!

I may be a bit late to say about this but I cannot deny it made me feel very sad indeed. It was still mentioned yesterday on Astro AEC, Xing Wen Bao Bao Kan.

If you're a frog under a coconut shell when reading this, let me enlighten you a bit. Around a week ago, a local Chinese newspaper published guidelines of "symptoms" to identify gays and lesbians.

Symptoms for gays include; attracted to men, likes wearing tight fitting clothing, having a muscular physique, and likes to carry big handbags.

Symptoms of lesbians included; attracted to women, likes the company of women rather than men, and have no affection for men.

These symptoms are said to be endorsed by the Ministry of Education. After that, it's been a whole week of news about this, one after another. Now the ministry is denying that they are actually endorsing the guidelines, but do support measures to combat such "social ills". Here is the link to the news.

Maybe some of us are really that distasteful, disgusting and a total threat to society, but please, being distasteful, disgusting and a total threat to the society has nothing to do with a person's sexual orientation.

You will see the media blaring out a criminal's sexual orientation if it deviates the norm, but never mentions a criminal's sexual orientation when he or she is straight!

When will this actually end? I actually thought it's a post from 9gag and I did laugh at myself. But no, this comes from the ministry! I am extremely angry and sad when I first realise this is actually true.

If we really want this to end, it should start from ourselves. Voice out your opinions. Show to people that you are a bit different in a way, but this shouldn't be a judging point to judge a person's character.

Since we're now in the limelight, play it big! Put down all your bets and draw all the cards! Wear your pastel pink, V-neck, tight fitting tee! Take out all your Louis Vuittons, Balenciaga and Celines to actually use them!

But most of all, be yourself. Shine through your character and show people it doesn't matter whom you love, what matters most is the heart.

On a side note, I think I'll be wearing my V-neck tomorrow. And carry that big green bag all around town!

To be in tune with the last post, here are more pics about my trip to Langkawi, which I should have posted like months ago.

This is certainly a very long overdue post. It was supposed to be posted in May!

After all the men in the previous posts to feed your natural desires, why not feast on something real and substantial. I mean food. Scrumptious ones that will whet your appetite and fill your belly.

Remember I posted somewhere back about going to Pulau Langkawi? Well, that went very well and I had the time of my life with my friends. I would really love to go back there some day again. It's beautiful and a real paradise on Earth, with all the cheap beer and cheap food that you can eat.

If you are heading there soon, try Sawadee Thai Restaurant that serves delicious Thai cuisine. And, they have the most expensive item going for a song, which is.... drum roll please! *tram tam tam tam*.....LOBSTER!

Finally I'm back to my hometown, which means stable Internet connection! Yay!

And this means bear pics. Finally!

So today I am going to feature... what else? Bears.

Now today's bear of the day is Dylan. He's the owner of this Tumblr blog, noodlesandbeef.com. I've admire him a long time ago, and I discovered that I actually have his photos in my bear album.

This is the question that most of us gay men have to go through before we truly accept ourselves.

For some people, it's through a happy experience, like knowing that they like to dress up in their mother's clothes or play with make up, and then there are those with a not so happy experience, like falling in love with a straight friend. Twice.

Then there are those with a really really dark past, as in being sexually molested while he's still a child. This happened to an extremely close friend of mine. He says this is the reason why he is attracted to men. He labels himself as a bisexual.

The story was that when he was still a child, sometimes he will be sent over to his aunt house to be taken care of. And that's where it happened. His cousin brother did it to him.

I also happen to know who is his cousin brother too. Never I will see him in the same light again. To know that he actually molested a child! And actually ruined his psychological well being!

To me, there is none other sin greater than theft. All other sins are an evolution of it. In this case, he robbed him of his chance to actually discover his sexuality in a much, much healthier way.

I despise such people. Children are meant to be taken care of, to be nurtured, and to be loved. What he did was the ultimatum.

I spit on you and I hope karma will take its place. I'll be sitting here to watch the show.

I never knew where to post this, so here are some dudes to cheer up the blog after such sombre tones. It's actually inside my Picasa album all this while.

I personally prefer the ones in the purple and yellow panel.

Click on it for a better view!

P/S: I'm using P1 now, so new pics will have to wait since it has a quota.

Here is a list of fearful things:

The jaws of sharks.

A vulture's wings.

The rabid bite of the dogs of war.

The voice of one who went before.

But most of all...

...The mirror's gaze...

...Which count us out our numbered days.

- Clive Barker.


Mr Clive Barker is an English horror and fantasy writer, according to one of my favourite websites, zenpencils.com. Beautiful illustrations of famous quotes by Mr Gavin Aung Than. Do check it out. :)

This is going to be a long post, so you've been warned.

Seeing the new post on Vincent's blog about the new notes, I have something to say.

This time it's not dissing about how poorly made our notes and coins are, but to raise an issue that each of us have to deal with, by this end of year.

Rumours are out and about. Rumours about our next general election.

Rumours will remain as rumours unless it is proven. I too really have no idea at all when it's going to happen. Also, I'm not here to tell you which party to vote. No, that should remain a secret all of us Malaysians should keep. If you prefer to say it out loud, you're very much welcomed to do so.

I just want to remind that in a democratic country, we, Malaysians, are actually the boss of our country. We are the ones whom will pick who will lead us and hopefully, they can improve our country better than before, in terms of economy, security and other issues that matters to us.

Maybe some of you will say that the Election Commission is corrupted, our country has no hope and etc. etc. Therefore, you choose not to vote, because what the little vote can do?

Well, whether all the assumptions above are true or not, I dare not say. I have no concrete proof to say it is bad or it is good. I certainly am not certify to say anything about the issues above that people doubt. But, there is certainly one thing that rings true.

A democratic country cannot be a democratic country if all it's gears and cogs are not working. Which is to say, if you are not voting, you're actually not helping our country at all.

If you choose not to vote, you are actually giving up the chance of actually having a say in our country. Healthcare, working opportunities, basic human rights, basic salaries, security issues, and other issues that matter to you and your family; all these are tied to your vote. If you choose not to vote, then you have no say at all in these issues.

To all registered voters, please, when the time comes, just go and vote. I don't care who you want to vote for. That is not my business. But if you give up your vote, then please do not say a thing if the situation after that does not suit your liking.

This is only a friendly reminder for you to go out and vote when the time comes. Nothing more, nothing less.

As today's blog post is very heavy, next post will be about my favourites. :)

That's all for now.

There's this new app called Between, which is actually a social networking app between two people. More specifically, it's for you and your partner only. It's from this Korean company called VCNC.

Basically the app distills down the essence of the question, "Why do we use technology?" Well, to communicate with people.

I'm now using it with my boyfriend. It's actually quite fun to use because you can document down your relationship and make it look something like Facebook's timeline. Also, it incorporates a messaging service like Viber or WhatsApp so if you're a fan of those, it's worth looking into.

I think it will benefit most for couples who are in a long distance relationship. Especially when you want to share sweet nothings with your significant other but not with other people.

I personally think it's a nice app overall. In the future, they're going to team up with other local businesses so that they can offer discount vouchers or coupons that are targeted towards couples.

Give it a try with your significant other. The app is available on Apple and Android.

Click here to know more about the app.

If you're a bookworm, you'd probably now know that there's a local bookstore which is called BookXcess at Amcorp Mall. If you don't, well, just head over there. They sell overstocked books at ridiculously low prices. I got an illustrated version of "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel in hardcover for less than RM25. I'm serious.

Also, they have this ongoing competition called Receipt Stories. You submit a very very short story to them and if it gets picked, it will be published in their receipt for a period of time. Also, you'll receive a voucher to buy books too. Check out their website here.

That's what I did and I got picked! It's really a good surprise.

So today, I'm going to share my little receipt story entitled "Today". It's not much of a story, but more like a poem.



Today, one man shall be free from the chains of the rat race.

Today, one man shall sink so deep in the chasms of poverty.

Today, one man shall rise from the ordinary shadows to be exceptional.

Today, one man shall from grace that he always believes he deserves.

But tomorrow, we'll never know the fate that awaits them.

So don't underestimate the power of tomorrow, today.


That's all for today. :)

This game was invented by my friend and I just rewrite all the instructions in words. :)

Little Frankie, one of my family's little dogs, passed away recently due to an allergic reaction towards his medication.

It's really heartbreaking to see him having seizures every half an hour. Not even anti-seizures medication can help. I remembered holding him in my arms and another seizure occurs. My eyes gets watery at once. I can see how painful it is for him and yet he couldn't say a thing.

But he is at a happier place now. Rest in peace, Frankie. Do reincarnate at a better place and time, as a better being. We all love you very much. 

Bears that is. Rough, tough and oh-so-huggable.